Good night world

It's been two days since the last "Daily Dose of Art" and I thought about dropping it entirely, it was truly interesting to get to know artists or works of art that aren't so well known, but it doesn't feel like something I'd want to carry on anymore, I don't know, it doesn't feel right anymore. I'm honestly feeling very lost. Today I reconnected with someone, that I consider my friend, and we were talking about a project I've been carrying on for almost a year now, I tried to be my witty and funny self, but I pretty much broke down. I hate how anxiety makes my brain work, and for them it was so easy to say "oh yes, you could do that or that" but my brain would just blank and establish that I don't know how to do that or I don't know how that works, so I was crying at some point because I couldn't understand how to not look stupid or like I wasn't even trying. Depression also came out to play, so that was exhausting, for the time my friend and I discussed I had this overwhelming feeling of behind a burden, another problem that they didn't need. I always feel that way, feel like I'm an anomaly that it's not supposed to be here, an error in the system, a gear that wasn't meant to fit in the machine that is the world, but when it gets that strong is simply too much for me to handle, so I would generally ghost people... So, if you're reading this and I've ghosted you, that's why, don't take it personal, every conversation feels like I'm wasting your precious time and I hate that, and I'm sorry, I'm also shitty at socialisazion and small talks.
All in all today has been an emotional Rollercoaster and I couldn't help but feel like I wanted to simply jump off of it.

"You are special, you are loved and you're here for a reason, so make the most of it"

Love you.